23. Me Time.

It feels like forever since I have not only felt like creating anything, but had a day when my brain could find enough joy to.

I remember I said to Paul about a year ago, ' do you know why I have all that stuff, and I haven't made anything for months? It's because theres no joy in my life anymore'

I know it sounds so very ' but I'm an aaarrrrrttteest' type statement, but when I'm making something, especially toys, you put a little piece of yourself into every one.

I always begin talking to them once I've done the eyes, all my little characters and I suppose I don't want to make toys that are filled with sadness or fear, because for a long time now, however I've tried to seem to the world thats all I had to give them.

But today I find myself, having this week with no medical appointments, and very little pain, in my beautiful Kabin.

Christmas santa dolls are on the table in their embryonic stages of chosen fabric pieces and paper patterns.

The heaters on, and Im so looking forward to this being my place of recovery in January; Surrounded by everything that makes me happiest, and hopefully be building positivity to take me back to making everyday.

This year has been hard, but I knew it would be, and the plans I put into action months ago when we moved are all here waiting.

I can feel the joy already.