33. TGIF

Well this week seems to have gone quicker, but also like I've been at the hospital everyday forever 😕

I didnt notice last week, and I'm guessing because it was an appointment time thing, but today walking to radiotherapy I came across 2 people, at different stages of the route, coming away holding their masks. I stopped walking and stood and clapped them and said 'well done'. 1 smiled and thanked me, the other seemed elated and he and his wife stood and chatted for a few minutes.

Camaraderie in the bleakness of connections.

They both looked so happy.

I stopped off at my usual toilet stop outside the 'cancer support desk ' and had barely sat down when the tears flooded out.

A mixture of tiredness, loneliness, pain, and anxiety, all tipped over the edge by the reminder that on my last Friday, I won't bump into a 'me', no one will clap and smile or hold my hand as I carry my mask home. The person I was when I started this has left, and she's never coming back.

The woman who walks out on that Friday not only will be carrying her mask, she'll have destroyed the one she's been wearing for years, trying to be what everyone wanted.

No, in 2026 there will be no masks,

its time for the world to see the real me, and people aren't going to be clapping!