35. Really feeling the changes now.

Day 12 and the side effects are escalating.

The weekend wasn't long enough to repair the damage being caused, and I started the week already 'off' 😞

My jaw is tight and achey, my tongue that side is very sore, and in the bottom of my mouth under my tongue on the treated side it feels like glass. Added to the pain and discomfort, my mouth is really drying out now. Yesterday even tap water tasted like it had 4 spoonfuls of salt in it🤢

The weirdness and distressing feelings that come from your throat having no lubrication is not something I think anyone can get their head round until it happens to you. The mucus in your throat is like a thick gel glued onto your airway and you keep having mini panic attacks as it feels like its sticking itself together and you can't breathe.

If ever you've watched the film 'deadpool1' the bit where they lock in him in the air chamber and keep turning the oxygen off. Yeah now You're understanding me right 👍😵‍💫

I could handle the pain, or I could maybe handle the maybe suffocating feeling but with no strong pain meds yet, Im having to struggle through both.

I asked at my Monday clinical meet, which I have to say I was disappointed with totally, and although I told them all from day 1 about my opiate allergy they still haven't even put it on my notes or have any plan for pain relief past paracetamol. To say Im annoyed and let down is a bit of an understatement!

As of Sunday I dont have to drive, or catch the train for radiotherapy, and had planned to beable to not have to endure any heavy episodes of pain as I wasn't going to need to stay ' with it' for driving or public transport any longer. Now seems I've been nearly 3 weeks suffering anything, looking forward to a reward of pharmaceutical numbness thats not been sorted out for me.

My appetite has plummeted today, mainly I think from pain, and being scared that eating anything might make the stickiness worse.

They have told me not to lose weight, but sadly I think Im going to be disappointing the dietician, just strangely its for the totally opposite reason than for the rest of my life. Maybe next Monday I'll have to slip something heavy in my pockets😊

Gonna definitely be the first xmas ever where I dont put on weight 🥰