52. Shakes and Squeaky

This morning I woke with not only the feeling that I had had tumbleweeds of barbed wire rolling around in my throat all night but also like some parasitic worm was gnawing it's way through the base of my skull and feasting on my brain.

Lottie showed little or no interest in getting up either and I soon realised as I tuned into real sound not that which constantly plays out in my head in the form of permanent tinnitus, that she had ' squeaky tummy'.

She's suffered from this, which sounds like a tiny string quartet is practising scales in her tiny abdomin since she was a pup, if and when she eats something that she shouldn't 😕 or more likely, Paul has given in to her begging and given her something that we all know including her, she shouldn't eat. 🤬, this is usually anything dairy, but seeing as she managed to ponce quite a few of his bag of walkers baked crisps last night whilst we all laid on my bed watching 28 years later, I'm guessing her squeaky tones today are down to potato. 🙄

After going back to sleep twice, the parasitic worm must have had it's fill of neurons and I finally came to enough, to feel that attempting being vertical long enough to have a wee might be possible.

Paul made me a second cup of tea and took away the first untouched version he had left 2 hours before, and I pondered another day of feeling completely shyte!

Through the afternoon, not wanting to attempt any meds in case it reawakened the headache, I managed a fortisip vanilla milkshake and found positivity in the fact I actually managed to drink the whole 200ml only having to swoosh once halfway through.

It still stuck to every open nerve ending, tasted vile, and had texture of evaporated milk mixed with phlegm, but I managed to drink half without it being impossible to carry on without a rinse.

No appetite at all to attempt to eat with Paul this evening, so quickly swallowed one of the 125ml strawberry fortisips I brought off amazon whilst waiting for my perscription ones, so sadly today's calories haven't even touched 650. 😕

Lottie is in starving mode too as until her squeakiness stops she knows instinctively not to eat and make it worse, bless her.

Hopefully by tomorrow we'll both be having a better day.

Week 2 of healing, and I need to be seeing some improvements, mentally, this endless pain and laying about is proving just as upsetting as the actual treatment for me tbh, I hate being unable to do anything, I'm even to tired to lay here and crochet 🫩 but I can't just keep sleeping endlessly thats just mad!

But it is what it is 🤷‍♀️ and apart from what I'm already doing I don't think I can do anything else to speed up the process of getting back on my feet.

Tomorrow could be a whole lot better 🙏👍