66. Another week has slipped by.

Well I get this sort of internal niggle now when I realise its been a few days since

I posted. But as nothing is really happening, and progress of recovery is mind numbingly slow, be it not a lot left to fix itself now, I don't really log into my blog unless I get a message or have something important to blog.

Nothing has been outstanding in the last week! I have noticed continuing tightness and feelings of pain when moving my chin upward in the mornings, when I first wake up, like the tendons round my trachea are all tight and restricted, but its not getting worse and loosens up after head movement for about an hour of so.

Taste wise, no huge changes, tea still tastes weird/metallic and so does plain water. My teeth are still quite sensitive to cold so still no ice in my drinks. We had roast loin of pork today for Sunday roast and I tasted everything, only the stuffing which wasn't homemade, had a bit of a strong twang to it, but even Paul said it was like really seasoned sausage, and it took over his palette even if he ate a lot of it. I managed to make the gravy without constantly asking him to keep trying it as I could taste it well enough to judge it was sort of ok. I don't think a lot of my perception of tastes are exactly the same as they were before, but I am getting used to what is normal even if it doesn't have the exact post radiotherapy taste. The only why to explain is if I gave you an apple and you ate it and tasted apple but I said right from now on that's banana, every time you ate it it would taste like you thought an apple should taste but you'd say oh that's banana. I know weird! The only time is just horrible is if you really want banana, the old old taste of banana, and there is no taste that is banana, so you have to pretend apple is fine and at least you can taste that and hope one day banana actually does taste like banana again :( I've got an appointment to go and see Dee my lovely hairdresser after easter. They said you should wait 6 months to have your hair done but I'm so sick of looking so awfully rooty. I love going to Dee's as she does hair at home in a little salon out her backyard, and so its like going to a friends for a chat and let her mess with your hair whilst you're there. No stress, no noise, no girls screaming and giggling, no music blaring out. I hate having my hair done at the best of times but when I'm on edge it would be impossible to sit somewhere for the time bleaching takes and not freak out. At least I can have nice hair for our holiday. Not a lot planned for this week leading up to easter apart from Lottie getting her hair cut on Friday.

The weather has been cold and dismal if I'm honest, and the clocks went forward last night so now the evenings are a bit lighter.

I've mostly got everything sorted, found, gathered in one pile, and if not found, ordered and delivered for the holiday and both of us are really looking forward it.

I do keep having little mini panic attacks about getting sick and not being able to go especially now we've paid the balance of the holiday and only the flights are transferrable :( but I'll do my darndest to be ok and get it done.

My nails, the hyponychium, (too many white bloods cells on my nail beds), is still affecting my nails but very slowly its getting a little better and not getting worse which is the main thing. They look like I've caught my fingers in a some sort of machine as lots have bruises under the nail and look brown and marked but its a work in progress and i know give it another couple of months the stained bits will have grown up hopefully the lifted ones will reattach and I'll have lovely long nails again :(

I fukking hate cancer !!!

Apart from just pottering my way through the next week I haven't got any plans this week apart from the normal housework I'm managing to contribute, Paul has taken over main hoovering duties on a permanent basis these days, as pushing it takes it right out of me and I can only do 1 room at a time, and that leaves me like I need a sleep and full body massage after, but I do still try and do some ironing and potter giving things in the kitchen and bathroom a wipe etc. I'm not sleeping too bad since I started to re use the humidifier, I won't say its a miracle with my dry throat, but it does make it easy enough to not wake me up 10 times a night. Still only the 6 times for toilet visits and rolling off whatever part of my body is screaming at me in pain to bloody move cos its had enough of that position.

But can't complain, I'm another week closer to the recovery I'm striving for with no major bad bits, so all's good for another week . :)