WELCOME

Hi, however you found your way to my page, either through a common sharing of HPV cancer diagnosis, or knowing or caring for someone who has been diagnosed , in treatment, or post treatment I hope you find a little common ground and something to relate or even smile about. Sharing makes it less lonely and having cancer is a lonely place to be. Mandi x

The Cockwart Saga

48. Tired with toothache

Well I am 3 days with no radiation and this is the longest I have gone throughout treatment so looking forward to tomorrow as it will be the longest I've not been radiated since the beginning of December 😀 My throat today was rough, and gritty feeling but I managed to get through the middle of the day with no pain relief, had a bath, hair wash, and sat downstairs and did some of the new jigsaw thats currently taking up the dining room table. Managed a couple of spoonfuls of

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48. Tired with toothache

Well I am 3 days with no radiation and this is the longest I have gone throughout treatment so looking forward to tomorrow as it will be the longest I've not been radiated since the beginning of December 😀 My throat today was rough, and gritty feeling but I managed to get through the middle of the day with no pain relief, had a bath, hair wash, and sat downstairs and did some of the new jigsaw thats currently taking up the dining room table. Managed a couple of spoonfuls of

12 hours ago2 min read

47. Post radiotherapy

Today is day 1 post radiotherapy. The time lines for recovery are pretty sketchy if Im honest 😞 and obviously it depends on location, intensity, individual resilience to treatment, normal level of pre cancer fitness and general disposition. But whatever, make no mistake, whoever you were/are recovery is never quick nor painless. They tell you the effects will continue and reach a peak sometimes up to 2 weeks after treatment, however I have always seen a distinct improvement

2 days ago4 min read

46. Finally over, now to rest.

I can not express how relieved I am that today is finally over. I dont even want to write about today. Its been....emotional. But now to rest, cry, heal and try to slowly recover. I dont know how I got to today. 😪

3 days ago1 min read

45. Soon be over

Today I woke up feeling terrible. I knew now the radiation is really getting up to silly levels it would be a struggle after another 2 days worth. My throat felt like the side where the cancer was had been scooped out with a rusty garden trowel, and the good side just felt like having the worst case of tonsillitis ever x 100. Nothing in my meagre army of pain killers are even touching the pain now, but I keep swallowing everything on rotation just in case without, it would be

5 days ago3 min read

44. So close yet so far.

Today is Wednesday and I knew today's treatment the second in a row would leave me totally drained again and unable to control the pain. I'd already arranged the transport to not collect me tomorrow knowing Thursday I could sacrifice to allow a slight recovery and go in on the final day Friday. The department was quiet, with not many waiting, Im not sure if its the weather, or just lack of new victims as its the New Year 🤔 Apart from arriving 40 mins too early, and then goin

6 days ago1 min read

The Cockwart Saga is a journey of resilience, where every step forward is battle against myself as well as against cancer.

― The Cockwart Saga

Meet the Author

Welcome to my blog and I hope sharing the good days, the bad days, the screaming, and crying, the laughs and of course, the bad language help you understand this part of my life.

When I sat in that empty corridor on the 4th August 2025 staring at the deli ticket in my hand 'patient 27' I didn't know what was ahead of me.
I knew something wasn't right and had been sure it 'was' something for over a year, but like everyone you never think its going to be you, until it is you!
My first reaction was that I wouldn't even bother, and within 48 hours had booked and paid for my funeral.

I was ready to give in, after losing my mum finally from Frontal Lobe Dementia, and in a surreal un expected shock of an afternoon a week before, my beloved cat BOY, dying out of nowhere in my arms on our kitchen floor, I just felt like rolling over to the cosmic joker and holding up my hands and saying 'ok you win! I'll go quietly!'
But I haven't......
And here is where I tell my story... warts and all!

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