WELCOME

Hi, however you found your way to my page, either through a common sharing of HPV cancer diagnosis, or knowing or caring for someone who has been diagnosed , in treatment, or post treatment I hope you find a little common ground and something to relate or even smile about. Sharing makes it less lonely and having cancer is a lonely place to be. Mandi x

The Cockwart Saga

57. February arrives at last.

Its been a long month since Christmas and new year, January is always a bit gloomy even under normal circumstances post Xmas but this year was probably the worst ever. Last August, I saw an advert for a night time concert in Ely cathedral, playing the themes of famous cinema, not even knowing what was to come I booked 2 tickets and convinced myself it was something I wouldn't forget or just conveniently find excuses for not going by the time it came round. Since then, obvious

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57. February arrives at last.

Its been a long month since Christmas and new year, January is always a bit gloomy even under normal circumstances post Xmas but this year was probably the worst ever. Last August, I saw an advert for a night time concert in Ely cathedral, playing the themes of famous cinema, not even knowing what was to come I booked 2 tickets and convinced myself it was something I wouldn't forget or just conveniently find excuses for not going by the time it came round. Since then, obvious

Feb 13 min read

56. Back to the world of the living.

Today I left the house( further than the back garden) for the first time in 18 days. And I also drove the car, the first time since a week before xmas. I only ventured about 2 miles to the doctors pharmacy and back. But it felt huge. After spending the last 2 ½ weeks in bed mainly, it felt like a huge step back to normality. Also I had plans for eating tonight as I had tried a chunk of mince out of Paul's chilli the other night and was extremely pleased that it tasted reall

Jan 272 min read

55. Baby Steps

Not alot has happened. The number on the scales continues downward, the pain and soreness in my throat continues to jump around and vary between sort of tolerable to 'no no Im just really sick of it now'.😪 Time spent pottering about has lengthened, instead of having a bath, new pyjamas and straight back to bed I've managed to stay downstairs and empty the dishwasher, or go through the ironing basket and put some non ironing clothes away. It all seems a little bit pathetic wh

Jan 232 min read

54. The journey

Jan 210 min read

53. Toast and Jam

Its been a long and tired 2 days, and this morning I actually felt scared I was going backwards. I couldn't even attempt anything solid yesterday and the scales noticed this morning by being a whole pound less than yesterday 😕 I felt beyond exhausted, and actually quite scared I was doing serious damage to myself for the time I haven't eaten. For a medically 'obese' person to be thinking that, it sounds quite ridiculous, but just because someone is fat, doesnt mean they aren

Jan 202 min read

The Cockwart Saga is a journey of resilience, where every step forward is battle against myself as well as against cancer.

― The Cockwart Saga

Meet the Author

Welcome to my blog and I hope sharing the good days, the bad days, the screaming, and crying, the laughs and of course, the bad language help you understand this part of my life.

When I sat in that empty corridor on the 4th August 2025 staring at the deli ticket in my hand 'patient 27' I didn't know what was ahead of me.
I knew something wasn't right and had been sure it 'was' something for over a year, but like everyone you never think its going to be you, until it is you!
My first reaction was that I wouldn't even bother, and within 48 hours had booked and paid for my funeral.

I was ready to give in, after losing my mum finally from Frontal Lobe Dementia, and in a surreal un expected shock of an afternoon a week before, my beloved cat BOY, dying out of nowhere in my arms on our kitchen floor, I just felt like rolling over to the cosmic joker and holding up my hands and saying 'ok you win! I'll go quietly!'
But I haven't......
And here is where I tell my story... warts and all!

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