WELCOME

Hi, however you found your way to my page, either through a common sharing of HPV cancer diagnosis, or knowing or caring for someone who has been diagnosed , in treatment, or post treatment I hope you find a little common ground and something to relate or even smile about. Sharing makes it less lonely and having cancer is a lonely place to be. Mandi x

The Cockwart Saga

70. Back to Hospital

Hard to believe only a week ago we were just leaving the port at Naxos after spending a lovely but short visit with Deb and Carl, on our way back to Santorini and the hotel and final few days of our holiday. It seems a world and lifetime away now which is so strange as the 5 weeks leading up to going just flew by. Luckily for me, and sort of planned, and more hoped for, the trip was a reasonably quiet one, in fact when we arrived at our hotel complex on the first day we were

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70. Back to Hospital

Hard to believe only a week ago we were just leaving the port at Naxos after spending a lovely but short visit with Deb and Carl, on our way back to Santorini and the hotel and final few days of our holiday. It seems a world and lifetime away now which is so strange as the 5 weeks leading up to going just flew by. Luckily for me, and sort of planned, and more hoped for, the trip was a reasonably quiet one, in fact when we arrived at our hotel complex on the first day we were

May 65 min read

69. New shoes and passports

Its been over 20 years since we went on holiday. Well a 'real' holiday' that is! One where you fly somewhere, and stay for a whole week and come home, usually a lot browner than when you left and definitely with a lot less money! Since Boy left last year, I knew I had to get well enough to cope with a real holiday, not only for me, but for my poor long suffering husband, my crap mental health not only has a huge impact on my life and what I can experience, but sadly limits hi

Apr 214 min read

68. Operation Rapunzel

When I phoned the doctors surgery in May of last year after putting off the neck lump for nearly 8 months, I was already convinced I had cancer. In the early days I had conversations with the lump in my head and just knew it was going to be more than I wanted to deal with, even it might be too late to do anything at all. The following month, I'd already made the decision when I had my usual 'treat' yourself hair dressers appointment , which actually was never a treat, because

Apr 134 min read

67. Its Easter!

The season of eggs made of chocolate and rabbits, I get the new beginning part of the symbol of an egg, but we can't get away from the fact Easter has become just another reason for a school holiday and a long weekend off work. Don't you always find it strange that all the dedicated public holidays are so evenly spaced throughout the calendar year? Almost as if they were planned by a mental health HR blue sky thinking group to alleviate people getting so bored of the endless

Apr 53 min read

66. Another week has slipped by.

Well I get this sort of internal niggle now when I realise its been a few days since I posted. But as nothing is really happening, and progress of recovery is mind numbingly slow, be it not a lot left to fix itself now, I don't really log into my blog unless I get a message or have something important to blog. Nothing has been outstanding in the last week! I have noticed continuing tightness and feelings of pain when moving my chin upward in the mornings, when I first wake up

Mar 294 min read

The Cockwart Saga is a journey of resilience, where every step forward is battle against myself as well as against cancer.

― The Cockwart Saga

Meet the Author

Welcome to my blog and I hope sharing the good days, the bad days, the screaming, and crying, the laughs and of course, the bad language help you understand this part of my life.

When I sat in that empty corridor on the 4th August 2025 staring at the deli ticket in my hand 'patient 27' I didn't know what was ahead of me.
I knew something wasn't right and had been sure it 'was' something for over a year, but like everyone you never think its going to be you, until it is you!
My first reaction was that I wouldn't even bother, and within 48 hours had booked and paid for my funeral.

I was ready to give in, after losing my mum finally from Frontal Lobe Dementia, and in a surreal un expected shock of an afternoon a week before, my beloved cat BOY, dying out of nowhere in my arms on our kitchen floor, I just felt like rolling over to the cosmic joker and holding up my hands and saying 'ok you win! I'll go quietly!'
But I haven't......
And here is where I tell my story... warts and all!

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