WELCOME

Hi, however you found your way to my page, either through a common sharing of HPV cancer diagnosis, or knowing or caring for someone who has been diagnosed , in treatment, or post treatment I hope you find a little common ground and something to relate or even smile about. Sharing makes it less lonely and having cancer is a lonely place to be. Mandi x

The Cockwart Saga

35. Really feeling the changes now.

Day 12 and the side effects are escalating. The weekend wasn't long enough to repair the damage being caused, and I started the week already 'off' 😞 My jaw is tight and achey, my tongue that side is very sore, and in the bottom of my mouth under my tongue on the treated side it feels like glass. Added to the pain and discomfort, my mouth is really drying out now. Yesterday even tap water tasted like it had 4 spoonfuls of salt in it🤢 The weirdness and distressing feelings th

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35. Really feeling the changes now.

Day 12 and the side effects are escalating. The weekend wasn't long enough to repair the damage being caused, and I started the week already 'off' 😞 My jaw is tight and achey, my tongue that side is very sore, and in the bottom of my mouth under my tongue on the treated side it feels like glass. Added to the pain and discomfort, my mouth is really drying out now. Yesterday even tap water tasted like it had 4 spoonfuls of salt in it🤢 The weirdness and distressing feelings th

18 hours ago2 min read

34. First time pain

I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones and maybe sail through treatment with a scattering of side effects. But its started. Yesterday I noticed some pinching type soreness at my jaw hinge at the gum inside my mouth. Like back teeth were trying to push through the gum and making it sore and achey. Last night that progressed to both sides, which made me keep opening my mouth to stretch it constantly, which is uncomfortable. But during the night, approx 4 30 am my thr

4 days ago1 min read

33. TGIF

Well this week seems to have gone quicker, but also like I've been at the hospital everyday forever 😕 I didnt notice last week, and I'm guessing because it was an appointment time thing, but today walking to radiotherapy I came across 2 people, at different stages of the route, coming away holding their masks. I stopped walking and stood and clapped them and said 'well done'. 1 smiled and thanked me, the other seemed elated and he and his wife stood and chatted for a few min

5 days ago1 min read

32. The side effects are starting

Last night I had a bit of a tight chest and I wondered if I had either picked up a germ in and out the hospital, although I seem to be the only one there wearing a mask :( and carry hand sanitiser etc. But also I am aware a few times I have sort coughed and regurgitated when I've been drinking, so started having a bit of a freak out about aspirated pneumonia :( But with rest and fluids ( without choking) I seemed to feel a bit better by the time I went to sleep. In the middle

6 days ago3 min read

31. 25% Done!

Today was a huge leap. Half way through my treatment, silently, deathly still, I celebrated in my head the fact I had done 25% of my treatment. Laying there flipping my tiny bear in the palm of my hand, I could only dream of the day I count down those last seconds of the last treatment. But it will come, and everyday its a day closer, everyday its another 3 mins and 11 secs closer to being over. After last week's initial swelling of the lymph node in my neck, this week day on

7 days ago2 min read

The Cockwart Saga is a journey of resilience, where every step forward is battle against myself as well as against cancer.

― The Cockwart Saga

Meet the Author

Welcome to my blog and I hope sharing the good days, the bad days, the screaming, and crying, the laughs and of course, the bad language help you understand this part of my life.

When I sat in that empty corridor on the 4th August 2025 staring at the deli ticket in my hand 'patient 27' I didn't know what was ahead of me.
I knew something wasn't right and had been sure it 'was' something for over a year, but like everyone you never think its going to be you, until it is you!
My first reaction was that I wouldn't even bother, and within 48 hours had booked and paid for my funeral.

I was ready to give in, after losing my mum finally from Frontal Lobe Dementia, and in a surreal un expected shock of an afternoon a week before, my beloved cat BOY, dying out of nowhere in my arms on our kitchen floor, I just felt like rolling over to the cosmic joker and holding up my hands and saying 'ok you win! I'll go quietly!'
But I haven't......
And here is where I tell my story... warts and all!

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