WELCOME

Hi, however you found your way to my page, either through a common sharing of HPV cancer diagnosis, or knowing or caring for someone who has been diagnosed , in treatment, or post treatment I hope you find a little common ground and something to relate or even smile about. Sharing makes it less lonely and having cancer is a lonely place to be. Mandi x

The Cockwart Saga

88. Over done it again!

When will I learn??? 🤔🫣 Never, most likely! Today I can't hardly move my arms and hands after spending yesterday tidying the wardrobe room. Since we moved here, our collection of ikea wardrobes started off scattered round the bedrooms for the first few months, and in an enormous push for organised and tidy about 5 months in, I managed to get Paul to move them all into one room and created a walk in wardrobe room in the front bedroom with an en suite, which also is at the fr

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88. Over done it again!

When will I learn??? 🤔🫣 Never, most likely! Today I can't hardly move my arms and hands after spending yesterday tidying the wardrobe room. Since we moved here, our collection of ikea wardrobes started off scattered round the bedrooms for the first few months, and in an enormous push for organised and tidy about 5 months in, I managed to get Paul to move them all into one room and created a walk in wardrobe room in the front bedroom with an en suite, which also is at the fr

Sep 274 min read

87. Hospital cancels and web site renews.

Well my extra busy week has turned into a not quite so busy week after all! Addenbrookes 'my chart' pinged me yesterday to tell me the appointment had been cancelled, rebooked for next month, and then offered me an earlier appointment than next month on the same day as they'd cancelled ,( i.e tomorrow), all in the space of 5 mins. 😵‍💫 The new 'tomorrow' appointment was an hour earlier than my original cancelled one but I clicked yes I'll take it, and for about an hour my ap

Sep 223 min read

86. Back from holiday, hospitals again 😒

well we got back on Thursday from our last holiday of this year. sadly i have to say another week in the sun didn't have similar effect as the last. Apart from feeling an actual earthquake ( 4.4 according to the news) the whole holiday was a little...flat. The villa however was superb, and the swimming pool was the one redeeming feature of the whole holiday. The roads in Kefalonia are mountainous and dangerous, so we always tried to get back before sunset, which as we weren't

Sep 204 min read

85. Just another year.

It was our wedding anniversary on 29th August. We didn't celebrate. Not much to find in 22 years to hash over, apart from the sheer longitude of it tbh. I got flowers, from my mother in law, the following day, and neither of us really felt the need to mention the fact that we had let it slip past majority of the day, until like the elephant in the room I wished him a Happy Anniversary about an hour before we went to bed. This year has been far to dramatic to be worrying abo

Sep 22 min read

84. Not a good week.

The cold that wasn't a cold has gone, as as soon as it rained I stopped sneezing! It had made me feel very down the last 2 weeks, in combination to going cold turkey from my beloved fortisip vanilla shakes, and back to normal food totally, topped up with the occasional slim fast. But I have to say I've still felt totally exhausted and not perking up at all. I have a low level pain where they removed the one back tooth which seems to niggle constantly and inside my mouth, the

Aug 244 min read

The Cockwart Saga is a journey of resilience, where every step forward is battle against myself as well as against cancer.

― The Cockwart Saga

Meet the Author

Welcome to my blog and I hope sharing the good days, the bad days, the screaming, and crying, the laughs and of course, the bad language help you understand this part of my life.

When I sat in that empty corridor on the 4th August 2025 staring at the deli ticket in my hand 'patient 27' I didn't know what was ahead of me.
I knew something wasn't right and had been sure it 'was' something for over a year, but like everyone you never think its going to be you, until it is you!
My first reaction was that I wouldn't even bother, and within 48 hours had booked and paid for my funeral.

I was ready to give in, after losing my mum finally from Frontal Lobe Dementia, and in a surreal un expected shock of an afternoon a week before, my beloved cat BOY, dying out of nowhere in my arms on our kitchen floor, I just felt like rolling over to the cosmic joker and holding up my hands and saying 'ok you win! I'll go quietly!'
But I haven't......
And here is where I tell my story... warts and all!

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