WELCOME

Hi, however you found your way to my page, either through a common sharing of HPV cancer diagnosis, or knowing or caring for someone who has been diagnosed , in treatment, or post treatment I hope you find a little common ground and something to relate or even smile about. Sharing makes it less lonely and having cancer is a lonely place to be. Mandi x

The Cockwart Saga

64. To fast or not to fast.

The eating side of the side effects is well back to normal now apart from a few foods not tasting quite right ( funky) and I lost 20lbs in the treatment period and the 3 weeks after when I was on totally liquid food. I was happy for the loss, even if the dieticians weren't and keep nagging at me. Since being able to eat properly again, and when I say properly I'm still only eating 1 full meal a day at night time, and the res to of the day is snacks or shakes. Because I feel s

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64. To fast or not to fast.

The eating side of the side effects is well back to normal now apart from a few foods not tasting quite right ( funky) and I lost 20lbs in the treatment period and the 3 weeks after when I was on totally liquid food. I was happy for the loss, even if the dieticians weren't and keep nagging at me. Since being able to eat properly again, and when I say properly I'm still only eating 1 full meal a day at night time, and the res to of the day is snacks or shakes. Because I feel s

3 hours ago4 min read

63. The come down.

Well yesterday was the first post I'd written for a couple of weeks as I had been on a bit of a high since going back for my 6 week review and being 'free' to visit some friends last week. Its been so weird as I have no medical appointments on my calendar, and although I know I have to sort out the colonoscopy pretty soonish, even that was arranged for at least another 5 weeks before it got cancelled last week. Basically since last July I have been 'in between appointments' o

4 days ago4 min read

62. Its been a while

Well its been a while since my last post. I was relieved to get the initial all clear from Addenbrookes and had planned to visit a few people in my old stomping ground in Kent. So last week saw me meeting up with old friends, relatives, and loved ones who had all been lurking in the back ground whilst Ive been battling up here on my own.I also had the chance to visit my mums and grandma's crematorium plots 💕 One beautiful friends firsts words were, ' are you coming home and

5 days ago2 min read

61. Back to the battle ground.

Yesterday saw me back at Addenbrookes clinic 10 for my 6 week post treatment review 9 mins of weighing weeing and shoving cameras up my nose. The Irish ENT dr seemed more than impressed with what she saw, Im healing up and doing marvellously apparently. Dietician and speech therapy rung and 'discharged' me today as Im ahead of the expected recovery schedule by weeks she said. I know I'm far from over everything, but seeing some of the people in the waiting room of clinic 10 w

Feb 272 min read

60. Another reason to live.

Well the last few days have been a bit shit if I'm honest. Apart from losing my bank card, trying to make sure I didn't catch the cold Paul came back from Manchester with and the fact the spa break I had arranged for this weekend was a total flop, I have to say I have felt pretty tired and pissed off with life in general and not really sure why I am doing much at all. Everything health wise seems a bit over whelming, new little things keep emerging daily and I'm not sure if i

Feb 233 min read

The Cockwart Saga is a journey of resilience, where every step forward is battle against myself as well as against cancer.

― The Cockwart Saga

Meet the Author

Welcome to my blog and I hope sharing the good days, the bad days, the screaming, and crying, the laughs and of course, the bad language help you understand this part of my life.

When I sat in that empty corridor on the 4th August 2025 staring at the deli ticket in my hand 'patient 27' I didn't know what was ahead of me.
I knew something wasn't right and had been sure it 'was' something for over a year, but like everyone you never think its going to be you, until it is you!
My first reaction was that I wouldn't even bother, and within 48 hours had booked and paid for my funeral.

I was ready to give in, after losing my mum finally from Frontal Lobe Dementia, and in a surreal un expected shock of an afternoon a week before, my beloved cat BOY, dying out of nowhere in my arms on our kitchen floor, I just felt like rolling over to the cosmic joker and holding up my hands and saying 'ok you win! I'll go quietly!'
But I haven't......
And here is where I tell my story... warts and all!

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